Monday, 14 September 2015

Follow up / Back to life

It's now almost 2 weeks since the 25mg psilocybin  session. I've just had my final follow up with Robin, Mark and David. I met Robin first and we talked for a while - going through some of the things that came up during and after the session, changes and how to move forward. Robin suggested meditation from this point might be healthy as well as facilitating being around more positive people. David joined us after a while and then I had about 30 mins alone with Mark, discussing the sessions just going back over the original, pre-dose questionnaire. I said my goodbyes and was given a small book by the team with short quotes from the Dalai Lama. A very thoughtful touch. I then handed over my gift, a bottle of champagne.

I spent a really nice weekend with some friends. Sunday morning, as I walked through Lakeside shopping centre after breakfast with a friend, I realised how good I felt; as if there seemed to be more space around me. I was more optimistic. I hadn't felt like this since before my mother had died. That really made me feel good to notice and enjoy the sensation.

Monday, I had some news from work about a site change which I didn't think was handled very well and was just broken to staff via email rather than in person. I'll be moving to a good site I enjoy so it's not the worst news. I'll also be working with people who may more stimulating and interesting to be around. It was a bit of a shock and I didn't enjoy the feeling of jumping from feeling great on Sunday and now feeling shocked and dislocated on Monday.

I've filled in and sent back the final questionnaire and again I can see a difference in my responses. There must be around 800 questions to go through. Robin followed up later with an invite for a get together for all staff and volunteers of the psilocybin trial. Dinner and drinks in December. That will be really interesting for all of us, a good way to see how we are all doing, some time after, and to swap stories about how our own sessions went.

Just before I started the trial - during and now, definitely, afterwards changes began to occur; almost like life moved with me on this trip. Some old friends got in touch out of the blue and some new friends were made. I've also just had the best news today (as I type) but I can't share it here. All I can say is it's totally unblocking.

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