Zzzzzzzzzzz

I managed to have a good sleep last night. I went to bed about 1am and think I slept soon after that. Dreamt quite deeply. Past relationships all merging into one continuous timeline. Also all locations were seamlessly attached to one another. I felt much better today. Pre-dose butterflies are still there. The tube strike has been called off, which would have just caused a complete nightmare for me getting to the hospital. Robin has kindly arranged that I can stay at the hospital accommodation overnight to avoid the toxic soul-death of rush-hour tube travel. I'm not looking at any more videos now related to Psilocybin.

I keep thinking of how nice the setting and music were. It really did help doing a "dry run" of the set and setting. I think I would have been more nervous if we hadn't done that. I'm going to take my own earphones as the ones there kept falling out when I tried them. I'm still quite tired today.

Pre-session nerves

A stressful morning trying to locate my undelivered (replacement) mobile phone displaced my creeping anxiety around the upcoming low dose session. I needed my phone as the one I'm using is about 6 years old and no good for what I want to do. I'm also projecting about the following higher dose session and worrying about that too.

I've got a slight ear infection and have had trouble sleeping again. Last night I managed to get to bed about 3am but slept much later than I expected and kept waking up. Today I feel exhausted. I'm sure it's going to be a good experience but I'm just worried about the psychedelic interface and how difficult and disorientating that will be. Even though all the testimonials from the study run by John Hopkins (using the same model) were positive. I'm not going to watch any more videos relating to this now. I couldn't possibly learn anything else useful without having the experience myself. I keep thinking how nice the setting is going to be and how much support I will have in the form of Robin, David and Mark being fully present to guide me. I'm worried the anxiety is going to increase the closer Thursday comes. I know how silly that sounds really as I volunteered after all!